"Icy Conditions"

Sometimes icy conditions involve more than there just being ice on a walkway. "Icy conditions" can also happen when your mind slips and you enter the domain of treacherous thinking.

I was thinking today that what can happen with a patch of ice, can happen with thinking bad thoughts (mostly about flying).  It's one thing to recognize that patch of ice (AKA bad thought) as something that is dangerous.  "Yup, there is that patch of ice. I should avoid stepping over there."  However, why would you purposefully step on a patch of ice only to slip and fall?  You wouldn't.

So why do people feel the need to run to their bad thoughts when they know they will just start to feel bad?  I don't know.  I think the next time I start to have a bad thought, I'm just going to think, "Yup, that's a nice patch of ice that I should avoid," and move on.

Using Humor as a Distraction

Flying is so darn serious. I think that to some extent, the seriousness of it all is what helps to feed the fear that people often feel.  The whole atmosphere makes it seem like something bad is going to happen, which is why, if I am to conquer this fear, I need to figure out how to perceive the atmosphere differently or change my perspective.  I remember one flight that I took where I was still quite scared but felt a little more at ease because the pilot was joking around.  I remember thinking, if he has time and is comfortable with joking around, then everything must be ok.      

Bringing humor to flying is going to be key for me, and it might be key for you as well.

I'd say watching this George Carlin video on airplane safety is a good start: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFW6NHbWX0E

"Just Get Over It" Says Jennifer Aniston

I did not realize that Jennifer Aniston was a fearful flyer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqB0dpl_zS4&feature=fvst

Apparently she even skipped out on some vacations. I tried to find out how she got over the fear, but could not find out how.  Does anyone know?

The Catch

My friends recently invited me to go on vacation with them.  The catch is that unless I want to spend weeks driving, I will have to fly.  The vacation they are planning sounds so awesome, and I really would love to go.  However, all I can think of is the flight.  It's months away, and I might turn it down because I don't want to fly.

I think I have found my goal.  I will go on this trip.

Set a Goal That Forces You to Conquer Your Fear

This woman set a goal to meet all of her Facebook friends, which means she has to get over her fear of flying:
http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/3958683-418/winnetka-woman-on-quest-to-meet-her-300-plus-facebook-friends-this-year.html

Interesting idea.

Using Youtube Videos to Get Over Fear of Flying

I've written a bit about how afraid I am and why I am afraid, but this blog is supposed to be about feeling untethered.  I still feel quite tethered, so I need to start focusing on what I can do to loosen up.

One of the things that I've done in the past that seems to help a little is to watch takeoff videos on youtube.  If you crank up the sound loud enough, the videos definitely help to stimulate the senses.  If you search for takeoff and the airport closest to your house, you are more than likely to find a video or two.  If you can watch takeoff videos over and over and feel calm, you're that much closer to not feel as scared or overwhelmed on a flight.

Here are a few examples:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylnAtBKNMKo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HRxppaWTdc&feature=fvwrel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpxo3sdMPJ4
 

By the way, I chose takeoffs because those are the worst for me.  However, if landings do you in, search for landings and your favorite airport of choice.

Name Your Reason(s)

Like me, many of you out there who are afraid to fly probably have a particular reason why flying has now become your least favorite thing to do on earth.  I don't just have one main reason, I have two.

1) Maintenance issue: This flight sticks out in my mind for two reasons actually (so maybe now I have 3 reasons total).  First, everyone got on the plane, the pilot tried to start it up and it kept powering down.  I remember thinking, "If they can't even remember to test starting the plane before people get on, what else have they forgotten??!"  Second, after waiting for hours for the plane to finally be fixed, we took off.  During the entire flight, my sister kept saying "We're going to die. We're going to die."  Thanks sis.  She is the one who flies around the world now, and I'm stuck with the fear.

2) Engine on Fire: Yes, you read that right.  It has been a few years since I had flown, and I was pretty nervous.  I did some on-line prep work for fear of flying, and I actually did pretty well on the first half of a round trip flight.  I was so proud of myself and remember thinking, yes, I think I might actually be able to do this.  On the return trip, I was not so fortunate.  During take-off, flames started coming out of the engine.  I tried to convince myself that this must be normal, but then I heard whispers around the cabin...."I don't think that's supposed to happen."  The pilot then spoke and said that we had lost an engine and that we would have enough gas to make it to our destination.  I didn't care.  I spent the rest of the flight thinking we were going to crash.

I have been on a couple of flights since, but have been in complete panic mode.  And then I learned that I could ditch a flight even though I had booked it, and ever since then....I haven't been able to board a plane. I'll mention some of the therapy/programs I've tried in later posts.

For now, what are your reasons for being afraid to fly?

Vacations

Vacations are something you are supposed to look forward to, however, they are often something I dread. I operate under the confines of not being able to fly.  When I start to dream about far off places, the fears of flying seep in, and I feel a wave of depression take over me.  I can find a "nice" place to go within driving distance, but in the back of my mind, thoughts of being a coward and not being able to "just do it" taint the experience.

For me, to truly feel "untethered," would be able to choose any place in the world to travel, book a flight with ease, and to be more concerned with the price of a plane ticket than the actual act of flying.

What does it mean to be "untethered" to you?

A start

I'm not sure what I need to do, but I need to do something.  For those of you who aren't afraid to fly, this blog is probably meaningless.  However, if you are afraid to fly, you'll know what I mean when I say I feel "tethered."  I have been unable to get on a plane for years now.  It has caused me to pursue other job opportunities where I didn't have to fly, miss out on events, and not get to spend as much time with family and friends who are not in the same location. I have tried therapy and various on-line programs, only to run screaming from the idea of getting on a plane.  Somehow I need to shift the focus from feeling tethered to feeling untethered, and this is the start.