Flight Buddy

I saw this press release today, and I have to say that I am quite curious:
http://www.pr.com/press-release/305670

I have tried many other programs, and for programs that you have to pay for, this seems quite reasonable. I am tempted to try it (especially since it is guaranteed). I'll keep you posted.

Funny...I tried another program that was guaranteed to work, and I never was able to get on a plane.  My sister said that I was going to cause the company to go bankrupt.

More suggestions

Even though the suggestions here are pretty basic, at least the article mentions trying to get professional help (oh wait, I've tried that) : 
http://roswell.patch.com/articles/what-to-do-about-your-phobia

Connections

I could go on and on here about not liking flight connections, but what I actually wanted to talk about was connections made over the internet.

Where else can you go and quickly get help from someone else who you didn't even know existed? I recently heard from someone who said they got over their fear of flying with hypnosis and that they also have a book to share (thank you stranger!). I look forward to hearing more from our internet connection, and I'll keep the rest of you to posted.

Japan

This is less about flying and more about putting things into perspective.

I may have horrible fear of flying, but that's all it is...a fear. I may have nightmares, but they are not real.

With the situation in Japan, the worst has happened, and the nightmare is a reality.  I have a lot of things in my life that are not going as planned or are stressful, but they are nothing compared to the situation in Japan.  For everyone affected by the earthquake/tsunami catastrophe, the world is collectively praying for you today. 

Speaking of Overactive Imagination

Right after I submitted my last post, I saw this:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/57-pilots-found-drunk-on-duty-in-09-10-11-lost-jobs/articleshow/7676480.cms

I'm in the mood to say that my overactive imagination is now justified!

Overdrive

If you have a fear of flying, you probably know what I am referring to with the post title.  Your mind on overdrive. Life with an overactive imagination.

My mind is on overdrive lately with work, and it reminds me of what happens when I attempt to fly.  I think of every little thing, it freaks me out, and I go through various stages of anxiety, depression, and guilt.

Anxiety - You are first anxious about you are going to do or need to do.
Depression - You are depressed when you don't think you can do it or end up not doing it.
Guilt - A wave of guilt comes washing over you as soon as you realize you didn't do it.

I have to start with the self talk:

Is anyone perfect?  No. 
Is anyone analyzing what I do as much as I am?  No.
Do we all make mistakes? Yes.
Should I chill out?  Yes.

Fear of Flying Articles

I honestly think that articles like this one are written by people who don't have a fear of flying: http://www.responsesource.com/releases/rel_display.php?relid=63253

I think I've read a million articles like this one, and seriously, if it were that easy....no one would be afraid to fly. 

When you are as anxious as I am:

• Eating a decent meal will not happen, I am just way too nervous.
• How can you think positively when you are trying to do the thing that you hate most in the world?
• Inform the cabin crew....I can barely talk without breaking down or crying.
• I already tried meds, and they didn't work.

Where are the articles written by people who really have gotten over their SEVERE fears?  

Looking for Pilots

I've decided that I need to make some pilot friends. 

Are you a pilot and love to talk about flying?  I'd love to hear from you.  I think that the more you know about something the less afraid you become. I want to know the gory details about flying. This is your chance to talk a lot about something that you love. :)

More Humor

This is a classic airplane safety video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDepABf9JOg


WHEN I get on a plane again, I will try to think of this so that it becomes more of an amusing event instead of being so serious.

Living Near an Airport

I knew it would freak me out initially, but I kind of did it on purpose. I chose to live a few miles from an airport.  I am right near the landing path for planes, and I hope that the constant exposure to planes will help me accept them. I can't say that it has been life changing, however, it does appear to be helping a little bit. It is a little neat to watch the planes land.  Kind of amazing actually.

The thing that still freaks me out a bit is that the Air Force does a lot of practice flights around here.  When they start doing their drills, it can get quite loud, and my mind starts imagining all sorts of crash scenarios. Multiple planes crashing into my apartment, multiple planes crashing onto roads, people screaming, etc.  When this starts to happen, I try to say,"STOP!  What is happening at this moment?"  Usually I'm just hearing loud noises, which is to be expected.  That's it.  No biggie.  I'm trying not to worry when I don't have to.

Wind! Not a Reason to be Scared

It was super windy while driving today, and it reminded me of one flight where the plane got completely tossed around in the air. 

A few thoughts:

• Other people on that flight threw up, I did not (the throwing up part just means it was "that" bad)
• The plane landed safely
• I don't think it's one of the flights that caused me to get scared

I certainly don't like the idea of getting tossed around in the air, but I'm here to talk about it, and it didn't scar me for life. Therefore, wind isn't one of the reasons why I don't get on a plane.  I'll call it one of my non-reasons.

What is your non-reason?

Turning Up the Heat

Shifting gears, I'm going to move from ice cold to boiling hot thoughts. How can you turn up the heat, when you know there is something that you should do but you just can't seem to do it?  Ease in; don't jump in.

If you tried to jump into a boiling tub of water, you'd jump right out.  If the water started out as room temperature and was slowly heated, you might end up getting cooked. Now we probably shouldn't strive to turn ourselves into stew, but it can be a technique for getting us used to something that we don't like.



Start watching planes take off or land.
Watch a ton of plane youtube videos.
Read about planes.
Learn about planes.

Immerse yourself and before you know it, you'll be flying and won't even realize it. Now if I could only take my own advice.

"Icy Conditions"

Sometimes icy conditions involve more than there just being ice on a walkway. "Icy conditions" can also happen when your mind slips and you enter the domain of treacherous thinking.

I was thinking today that what can happen with a patch of ice, can happen with thinking bad thoughts (mostly about flying).  It's one thing to recognize that patch of ice (AKA bad thought) as something that is dangerous.  "Yup, there is that patch of ice. I should avoid stepping over there."  However, why would you purposefully step on a patch of ice only to slip and fall?  You wouldn't.

So why do people feel the need to run to their bad thoughts when they know they will just start to feel bad?  I don't know.  I think the next time I start to have a bad thought, I'm just going to think, "Yup, that's a nice patch of ice that I should avoid," and move on.

Using Humor as a Distraction

Flying is so darn serious. I think that to some extent, the seriousness of it all is what helps to feed the fear that people often feel.  The whole atmosphere makes it seem like something bad is going to happen, which is why, if I am to conquer this fear, I need to figure out how to perceive the atmosphere differently or change my perspective.  I remember one flight that I took where I was still quite scared but felt a little more at ease because the pilot was joking around.  I remember thinking, if he has time and is comfortable with joking around, then everything must be ok.      

Bringing humor to flying is going to be key for me, and it might be key for you as well.

I'd say watching this George Carlin video on airplane safety is a good start: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFW6NHbWX0E

"Just Get Over It" Says Jennifer Aniston

I did not realize that Jennifer Aniston was a fearful flyer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqB0dpl_zS4&feature=fvst

Apparently she even skipped out on some vacations. I tried to find out how she got over the fear, but could not find out how.  Does anyone know?

The Catch

My friends recently invited me to go on vacation with them.  The catch is that unless I want to spend weeks driving, I will have to fly.  The vacation they are planning sounds so awesome, and I really would love to go.  However, all I can think of is the flight.  It's months away, and I might turn it down because I don't want to fly.

I think I have found my goal.  I will go on this trip.

Set a Goal That Forces You to Conquer Your Fear

This woman set a goal to meet all of her Facebook friends, which means she has to get over her fear of flying:
http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/3958683-418/winnetka-woman-on-quest-to-meet-her-300-plus-facebook-friends-this-year.html

Interesting idea.

Using Youtube Videos to Get Over Fear of Flying

I've written a bit about how afraid I am and why I am afraid, but this blog is supposed to be about feeling untethered.  I still feel quite tethered, so I need to start focusing on what I can do to loosen up.

One of the things that I've done in the past that seems to help a little is to watch takeoff videos on youtube.  If you crank up the sound loud enough, the videos definitely help to stimulate the senses.  If you search for takeoff and the airport closest to your house, you are more than likely to find a video or two.  If you can watch takeoff videos over and over and feel calm, you're that much closer to not feel as scared or overwhelmed on a flight.

Here are a few examples:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylnAtBKNMKo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HRxppaWTdc&feature=fvwrel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpxo3sdMPJ4
 

By the way, I chose takeoffs because those are the worst for me.  However, if landings do you in, search for landings and your favorite airport of choice.

Name Your Reason(s)

Like me, many of you out there who are afraid to fly probably have a particular reason why flying has now become your least favorite thing to do on earth.  I don't just have one main reason, I have two.

1) Maintenance issue: This flight sticks out in my mind for two reasons actually (so maybe now I have 3 reasons total).  First, everyone got on the plane, the pilot tried to start it up and it kept powering down.  I remember thinking, "If they can't even remember to test starting the plane before people get on, what else have they forgotten??!"  Second, after waiting for hours for the plane to finally be fixed, we took off.  During the entire flight, my sister kept saying "We're going to die. We're going to die."  Thanks sis.  She is the one who flies around the world now, and I'm stuck with the fear.

2) Engine on Fire: Yes, you read that right.  It has been a few years since I had flown, and I was pretty nervous.  I did some on-line prep work for fear of flying, and I actually did pretty well on the first half of a round trip flight.  I was so proud of myself and remember thinking, yes, I think I might actually be able to do this.  On the return trip, I was not so fortunate.  During take-off, flames started coming out of the engine.  I tried to convince myself that this must be normal, but then I heard whispers around the cabin...."I don't think that's supposed to happen."  The pilot then spoke and said that we had lost an engine and that we would have enough gas to make it to our destination.  I didn't care.  I spent the rest of the flight thinking we were going to crash.

I have been on a couple of flights since, but have been in complete panic mode.  And then I learned that I could ditch a flight even though I had booked it, and ever since then....I haven't been able to board a plane. I'll mention some of the therapy/programs I've tried in later posts.

For now, what are your reasons for being afraid to fly?

Vacations

Vacations are something you are supposed to look forward to, however, they are often something I dread. I operate under the confines of not being able to fly.  When I start to dream about far off places, the fears of flying seep in, and I feel a wave of depression take over me.  I can find a "nice" place to go within driving distance, but in the back of my mind, thoughts of being a coward and not being able to "just do it" taint the experience.

For me, to truly feel "untethered," would be able to choose any place in the world to travel, book a flight with ease, and to be more concerned with the price of a plane ticket than the actual act of flying.

What does it mean to be "untethered" to you?